07/06/2022

I’m 20 years old The woman who started sex at 18 Since I was I slept with 10 men u two women, but we only have Climax with one of them. I like the idea of ​​intercourse and I am very interested and intrigued bdsm i often Imagine these things And I find myself occupied by a certain person, but once I’m in the moment, I’m at it This person is me I don’t feel a thing anymore (although I Continue with Sexual intercourse, which means I feel less happy). I masturbate Five years ago (the only time I ever masturbated) and that was I only have time Experienced orgasm. I’ve been using sex as a tool for control ever since because I am realize The, If I don’t feel anything, I can focus on it instead Create a knee vibration experience for my partner. I’m always He asked me if I was asexual because all through In high school, I was never sexually attracted to anyone. Currently I’m older and not happy with intercourse, me I wonder if This really is the problem.

You’re getting ahead of yourself by skipping some formative sexual steps, like learning exactly how your body works through masturbation. Once you master this step, it’s easier to have sex with someone else – you can then take responsibility for your happiness and share important information with your partner about how you like to be touched, caressed, etc. The kinds of erotic experiences you’ve had amount to somewhat of pseudo-sex – since you engage in these acts primarily to feel empowered or to gain approval. You build yourself a pattern of avoiding feelings during sex, and if you keep doing it, you guarantee unsatisfactory sex indefinitely. Consider getting back to basics, and once you feel you have enough knowledge about your own body, you can begin to explore who you really are sexually in a partner’s context.

  • If you would like advice from Pamela on sexual matters, please send a brief description of your request [email protected] (Please do not send attachments). Each week, Pamela chooses a problem to solve, and posts it online. She regrets that she cannot correspond in person. Submissions are subject to our Terms of Service: see gu.com/letters-terms.

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